Pretty Sure

i'm pretty sure i remember seeing you last christmas. and i'm pretty sure you were my favorite then. i'm also pretty sure that i haven't forgotten since. don't think you're last just bcuz you've missed. i haven't really thought about that (you), since then.

i went by the house today...i said goodbye.

News Report

promise me one thing:

if you leave before i do, you'll tell me? i don't want to find out some other way, on my own, randomly someday.

Don't stop the music; Don't Stop Dancing!

Have a dance party.
Celebrate life.
Live for each other.
Live for the earth.
Live like you’ll never have a chance to live again.
Don’t stop the music.
Don’t stop dancing.
Just keep jumping.
Just keep singing.
Take courage. Share your joy with others.
Help each other!
And have faith that what you’re doing is important,
And worth while.


"Don’t exchange evil for evil...Overcome evil by doing good."

Family Therapy Conference

Today, I went to a lecture/forum on relationships and marriage, and how to help them (make them) be better. It was informative, and extremely helpful. I am thankful for the opportunity to grow...especially in such a way as this.

Hopefully, we can work on this together. I'd like that. :)

As The Van Broke Down, I Figured I Should Walk.

Currently, I am stuck in Wilmington, NC. The brakes on my van are getting fixed. I thought they were going to be fixed by this afternoon (Sept 8), but then received a call saying that, due to an issue that i will leave out, the van won't be able to be fixed completely until tomorrow (Sept 9). Kind of a bummer you might think, but I've been left to consider the following:

I have reason to believe, there are certainly worse places to be stuck in than Wilmington, NC. Toyota has a shuttle that will take me (and come get me) pretty much anywhere in Wilmington, free of charge. There is a beach, a college campus (UNC-Wilmington), and a downtown with various shops, open mics, and venues. The beach is the same distance from the toyota place as downtown is (if not closer). And so, I have been to the beach 3 days in a row!!! (When I thought i might get, maybe, only 1.) :) The shuttle drove me to where my gig was last night (the Juggling Gypsy). I then stayed with some people (UNC students) who had been at the show. I slept in an actual bed, and for a long time for once, then woke up, called the shuttle, went to toyota to check in, and then, headed back to the beach, again.

So basically, as my van has been getting fixed, I have been catching sunrays and playing in ocean waves. (As well as getting some work done.)

Being in this situation has also allowed me to think about some things in/for the future, such as: "What would I have done/would I do if I had a youth group with me, and this happened? What would I do with them while we wait for the van to get fixed? What kind of service projects could we do while here? What kind of bible studies/devotionals could we have while here? And so on."

This summer, God has taught me so much about patience, flexibility, and just being able to deal with situations as they arise. These are all good preparations (that I am thankful for) for the future. Understanding that sometimes things just aren't going to go as you planned them, and to not freak out, and to know how to adjust when they don't. Would my panicking have helped at all? Most likely not. Would getting mad at everybody help? Again, most likely not. It's not that you shouldn't make plans in the future, it just means that you should understand that sometimes…things happen. Sometimes, the sea is calm, and sometimes, the sea is rough. That doesn't mean you've necessarily done anything wrong though. Sometimes, it's just the way it is.

This Thing (Dream) That I Dreamt Once

you were the dream i had last night.

before falling into a deep ceiling ocean



called, inner peace.



i didn't need it after seeing you.

i didn't need it cuz i was awake with you.


your purpose enlightened me enough to see.
your reasons for breathing were reason enough for me.




i kept going. just so you'd know that i care.






see beauty. light. lightning. and forest trees crashing.
see life. electric. forest fires burning. topsoil creating.

amazing.

you are Creating.

Something Worth Working At

i'm going to make something better. i'm going to make a glorious sound. i'm going to help you out. in one way or another, i'm going to add to your life. someday, this will all seem amazing to you. someday, this will all make more sense. and someday, you will give thanks for the love that you've been given; that you've been provided; that you've had provided to you. there are so many reasons to give in to doubts, but even more reasons to hold on to hope. and to remind why i loved you in the first place. so remember that when your face is on the floor.

Down at the Swimming Hole (That Water Looks Pretty Cold)

sometimes, you gotta just jump right in, and not worry about how that cold water's gonna affect you. usually, what matters most is that first leap. like the one i'm about to take, right now. i love you, God. and i love you, Jesus. since you are the same thing, you know that I only need to say that to one of you. but i'm going to say it to both. just for further emphasis. and to keep myself reminded. bcuz im a forgetter. and i don't like that about myself. so if you will, please keep me reminded of how much i love you, and how much you love me. and please, don't leave me out here stranded. because frankly, i've finally found where i'm wanting to be. and what i'm wanting to do. and that is, serve you. but more importantly, serve you in the way i am best capable. so, i will sing, and dance, and breathe, and cry, and laugh as hard as i can. and i will lead, and stumble, and admit my mistakes, and let others know how much they matter. i'm sorry that we're having to go through this, this week. i'm sorry that we've had such a rough time, lately. and i'm sorry that i forgot how much amazement my life is. may i never miss another golden opportunity to serve you, again.

This Bright Little Sun

when they beat down on us, the sun came up. we were so much better from the wounds we'd found. battered and bruised, defiled and used. and a new assurance was left, in the persuit of you. making us new inside our view. a look from the window, a beautiful view.
that this was all saved, we were better than brave. we are better than sunshowing, on a cloudy day. this time, it's us all versus the clouds. we'll live in lightning, it's better than towers. striking the grounds as we swim for hours. running, and circling over the town.

I Am An Avalanche (Boise, ID)

....The Adventure Begins Shortly

Purity

you are a pure light. an example. a way to exist. in every step you leave a clue as where to find you.
you always leave a path, to find truth. and to find a view.
where was i when i walked away from your voice? your song so sweet, so soothing.
i had to discover something more ridged. more rough. more rugged.
i needed to know there were things in this world that were terrible.
and that i couldn't handle on my own.
i needed to know i could fail. and that it would be okay.
that you would still be with me, even when i'd lost everything. that you still cared for me.

On this Journey, I walk...And I will continue to walk.

currently listening to: Hammock

i am, about to start a pilgrimage. or rather, re-continue a pilgrimage that i started last November.
i stopped school last October to focus on music, full-time. and went on my first tour in mid-November.
i had a thought in my head that went, "I wonder what will happen if i tour non-stop, for an entire year? what will happen?"

i am in the process of finding out. so far, things have been pretty well close to amazing the entire time. things i've found out: everyday is an adventure, everyday is an opportunity, and everyday is a new chance. everyday of my life is pretty much amazing, and if i were to complain...it wouldn't be worth it; i'd be a spoiled brat. and i've learned that life...is one long journey; a story...an EPIC story.

and every person i have met, has been a part of that story. ...so no one who's met me should think that they aren't a part of something great.

i went on this pilgrimage to spend time with God - ultimately. i am learning to trust. trust, trust trust. and rely on nothing else. (it is EXTREMELY hard to do.) but it has been SO helpful.

and i have come to realize that the trials that i face, the tests i go through, are not meant to hurt me; to punish me, but to help me grow, develop, and become more complete. To prepare me; to mature me. like a test in school is meant to prepare a person for the real world. this is a training, to make sure that i am walking my talk. (it is HARD.)

i am SO grateful that i get to be on this journey. and SO excited for it to begin again! for WHAT'S COMING NEXT!!!! it will be great. i know it will.

this is the greatest journey anyone could ever be on. i am confident of that.

if you're an athiest, don't turn away. this message applies to you, too - God or no God. your life has something to it. keep going, searching, asking, live your journey.

if you're a believer, don't be frightened. keep asking, seek deeper, live your journey.

God will NEVER send you somewhere that will ultimately hurt you. God will ONLY provide good things. like a good father does for his child - God only wants to provide what's best. like a good mother - God only looks to provide nourishment, compassion, and kindness. Both only want to provide love.

"my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trails of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1: 2-4

i am excited to see what the next adventure has in store.

My Dear Wanderer

My dear wanderer,
i will be with you. every step of the way. no matter how long it takes you to get to the other side of the sea, i will be along with you. in mind, spirit, adventure. no matter the cost. don't worry about it. i will follow with you. trust me, you don't want to walk this completely alone. that's a lot of miles to go on your own. and it can become almost nauseating; disgusting. that's why it's good to have a companion, sometimes. just remember though, in case we lose each other, that with every adventure comes a new chance for exploration. and a new chance for self-discovery. what you can handle. and what can handle you. the beauty of this all is that you get to take what ever you discover with you - if you'd like. the other beauty about it is, you can leave it behind, as well. most of it anyway. and the stuff you can't, you'll most likely find helpful to have anyway. knowledge about the world. about yourself. about that little part of you you always knew existed, but could never bring out. about the limits of potential you always held yourself to. you can go further than you'd ever thought possible. you WILL go farther than you've ever been. There is no limit unless you limit yourself. And i know this because i created you. I always hear you. I'm always here for you. and I love you. always...always...always.
Love, Me/God

Dear God (I'm Speechless, Wordless, Thoughtless, but Secure)

sometimes, i'm stumped for words. but i know you're still listening.
we'll survive out there. i'll survive. you'll survive. we'll survive out there.
sometimes, i'm stumped for words. but i know that you're still with me.

thank you for that.